A friend of mine, I'll call him Joe, has a nice little white sports car that gets about ten miles per gallon. He resets his tripometer after every fill up and knows he can travel about 200 miles before he will run out of gas.

One day his car inexplicably broke down on the freeway so he called a tow truck from his friend Ted's mechanic shop. He told the tow truck driver, "She was rolling along just fine and then started to sputter and acted like she was out of gas or something. This has never happened before." The tow truck guy asked, "Is it possible that it did run out of gas?" My friend said, "No way, I know my car better than anyone. It didn't run out of gas. I'm sure it's some sort of engine problem."

My friend went home and waited for a call from his friend Ted. He hated thinking what was wrong with his car and how much it was going to cost. Finally the phone rang. "Joe, this is Ted down at the shop. I'm happy to report there is nothing wrong with your car. It was just out of gas. I'll just have you pay $50 for the tow and we'll call it a done deal."

Joe was not happy to hear this news. He knew his car didn't run out of gas so this just meant that Ted was either stupid or a liar. He must have some ulterior motive but what could it be?
Joe politely replied, "With all due respect Ted, I'd like you to take a second look under the hood. What makes you think it was just out of gas?"

"Well, first of all the gas gauge was below the 'E'". He added sarcastically, "You know, 'E' doesn't stand for 'Eclair' Joe". Not to mention the fact that your low fuel light was on. And, if I know you, your tripometer was probably reset when you filled the tank last. How many miles can you go on one tank Joe because the tripometer reads 206 miles. I know how you like to push the luck with your gas level. How many times did you run out of gas in your last car?"

Joe was getting angry at this point. "Ted, first of all, what happened with my last car and what happens with this car are two different things. Secondly, I've had some wiring problems ever since I put in my new stereo so the low fuel light is probably just on the fritz. Do me a favor and please disconnect it so it doesn't give me a false warning in the future. Also, if you'll recall, I had you put new tires on the car last week and you obviously put on the wrong size and that is undoubtedly what is causing the tripometer to give a false reading. If the tires are too small they will rotate more times and make the odometer think it's going more miles than it really is. There is no way I drove 206 miles on one tank because I can't drive more than 200 miles without running out of gas."

Ted was quite frustrated by this point. He let out a sigh and said, "Joe, that's my point exactly. How long have we known each other? Would you please trust me on this? The first thing I did when I got your car in here was pour a couple gallons of gas in the obviously empty tank and it turned over on the first try. The gas gauge was on empty and the low fuel light was on. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to put two and two together Joe. Give me a little credit for the 38 years I have been working on cars."

Joe said, "Ted, I'm going to come by and pick up my car. I don't want to talk to you when I get there. As far as I'm concerned you have gone off the deep end and simply refuse to listen to the facts. I would really rather not discuss this further. There really is no point. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this."

Ted said, "Joe, all I'm saying is..." Joe interrupted, "I don't want to hear it. I know that you are wrong. Your so-called 'facts' don't prove a thing other than your desire to see my tank as half empty. I prefer to be the optimist and see it as half full. That's all." Ted said, "I prefer to see your tank as completely empty because that's exactly what it is!

Joe picked up his car and Ted tried to talk to him but he put his fingers in his ears and shouted, "I'm not listening! I'm not listening!" Joe took his car to his brother-in-law who knew almost nothing about cars. The two of them took the dash apart and removed the low fuel light and changed the tires and, just to be safe, replaced the possibly faulty tripometer and odometer. His car broke down 5 more times that summer and, every single time, some idiotic mechanic would tell him he just ran out of gas. He had the engine replaced 3 times much to the dismay and protest of his mechanic of choice at the time.

Joe never did talk to Ted again. One time he saw Ted and his wife at the local movie theater and he pretended like he didn't see them. Joe told everyone what a terrible mechanic Ted was and how Ted thought there was nothing wrong with his car but the next mechanic he took the car to replaced the engine. Obviously there was something wrong with the engine because the car did the same thing to him 5 more times that summer. Also, everyone knows that a mechanic wouldn't replace an engine if it wasn't broken.

Joe often wondered if Ted had developed a drinking problem or was perhaps cheating on his wife. There must be something that caused an otherwise terrific mechanic to go off the deep end like that.

Poor Ted.

 

[Since making this page I have been accused of insulting Mormons and calling them stupid. The story above is simply trying to make the point that LDS folks in general have a tendency to ignore the obvious signs that their church is not true and, instead, come up with some of the craziest ideas to explain away all of the holes in their doctrine. A good example of this in action is the explanations they come up with for all of the problems with the Book of Abraham.]